麻豆放映免费

Official Student Newspaper of Henry M. Gunn High School

麻豆放映免费

Official Student Newspaper of Henry M. Gunn High School

麻豆放映免费

Official Student Newspaper of Henry M. Gunn High School

麻豆放映免费

Amann Mahajan

On growing up
Amann+Mahajan
Vin Bhat

They say senior year is the best year for confessions (after all, who鈥檚 going to chase you down afterward? An ill-intentioned sibling? A teacher?), and in that spirit, here鈥檚 mine: I was 鈥 and, at least marginally, still am 鈥 a Stephen King fan.

All teenagers have their indulgences, and beginning in ninth grade, mine were 鈥淢isery,鈥 鈥淧et Sematary鈥 (no, it鈥檚 not misspelled), 鈥淭he Shining鈥 and all the rest. King鈥檚 books aren鈥檛 trashy by any means 鈥 far be it from me to insult the king of horror 鈥 but they were assuredly outside of my comfort zone. I鈥檓 by no means a thrill-seeker or a gore-lover, and I鈥檝e often wondered what drove me to read about a psychotic clown in Maine, or a haunted hotel in the Colorado Rockies.

What I settled on was this: King鈥檚 books were perfect for me not because they were bloody, but because they provided a childish refuge. In ninth and 10th grade, I struggled to face the fact that I, and everyone around me, was evolving, perhaps beyond recognition. When I looked around me, I saw my friends eager to move on, grow up and be independent, and King鈥檚 books gave me space to cling to the familiar. His kid protagonists face unimaginable atrocities, but the solution is, in King鈥檚 words, to 鈥渞emember the simplest thing of all 鈥 how it is to be children, secure in belief and thus afraid of the dark.鈥 Defeating evil isn鈥檛 a matter of being the smartest or the most successful; rather, it鈥檚 an exercise in belief, maybe even in the suspension of disbelief.

So I took comfort in belief. Happy in my own sphere of comfort, I stuck with what I knew and avoided what I didn鈥檛: driving, spending time with new people, trying new activities. I would go to school, go to basketball, come home, play piano, do homework, repeat. Monotonous, but predictable; static, but dependable.

Beginning in junior year, though, I started to realize that shying away from change was not going to work. It was one thing to look at my elementary- and middle-school years with nostalgia, and another to stay mired in them, and I was tending toward the latter. And so I tried something new: I exchanged King for new authors, traded basketball for journalism and found new friends to add to the old. I felt a pit of anxiety in my stomach every time I pivoted, but each small step felt like a battle won against
my own fear of change.

It was only after I had begun to let go a little that I realized I had misunderstood King鈥檚 work. Being 鈥渟ecure in belief鈥 didn鈥檛 mean taking refuge in it 鈥 it meant harnessing that childish awe, curiosity and empathy into adulthood. Growing up doesn鈥檛 entail abandoning childhood, but it also doesn鈥檛 mean regressing into it. My friends weren鈥檛 leaving behind their old exploits, but changing them into something new.

A few weeks ago, I picked up 鈥淚t鈥 from my bookshelf and 鈥 ignoring the clown鈥檚 garish smile on the front cover 鈥 thumbed through it again. The 1,100-page tome is, in the end, an ode to childhood, but it鈥檚 also a story of how we heal from and remake our childhoods as adults. After all, we are all still growing into our own stories, expanding and unfurling. Who knows what comes next?

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About the Contributors
Amann Mahajan
Amann Mahajan, Editor-in-Chief
Senior Amann Mahajan is the editor-in-chief of 麻豆放映免费 and has been on staff since January 2022. When she鈥檚 not reporting, she enjoys solving crosswords, doing terrible British accents and playing the piano.
Vin Bhat
Vin Bhat, Graphics Freelancer, Photographer
Freshman Vin Bhat is a freelance graphic artist and photographer for 麻豆放映免费. He enjoys playing guitar, programming, and listening to music in his spare time.
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